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much better.
Fasting until further notice.
- Music:cuts you up - peter murphy
FOOD:
-I'm going to try and stay between 500-600 calories a day
-I'm going to eat at 11am, 1pm and 6pm
*If I sleep in past those times or am at work during those times I will not eat
*Calories are split up however I want, as long as I don't go over
-Absolutely NO fast food, no food from work and no soda except for occasionally diet
-If I know I'm going to be forced into an incident with food, I will not eat that day
EXERCISE:
-I will rollerblade 30-45 minutes every night
-I work everyday except for Mondays and Saturdays, and I'm on my feet practically the entire time. Work definitely burns calories.
If I lose the weight he'll love me.
- Mood:
crappy - Music:good charlotte - screamer
158.8 lbs today.
But that's fine, it's okay. No more fucking up. I will keep diet soda and gum and caffeine pills on me at all time. Cigarettes if my best friend wasn't around me all the time. No more fscking up.
So far I've only had a yogurt smoothie (60 cals)
My daily intake is 500 again.
coke - 240
slice of turkey - 20
half a slice of ham - 15
wheat thins - 120
yogurt - 70
rice cake - 50
fudgesicle - 70
mac 'n cheese - 230
FJKLASJD;FKLS
total: 815
gross.
HOWEVER... ahem.
I will go rollerblading for an hour, and fitwatch.com says that's about apprx. 845 calories burned. And then I will do DDR for 300 calories tonight.
Soooo... today I should burn about 1145 calories today.
My daily calorie intake should only be about 500 so I really fucked up. But my net loss will be only -300 when it should be like -645.
glkajd
- Mood:
crushed - Music:carnival - natalie merchant
Chad's pissed off.
I have work tonight, so I have put it off as allergies.
So far only Dannon Light 'N Fit (0% fat) only 40 calories.
Blah.
- Mood:
disappointed - Music:notes/prima donna - phantom of the opera
it doesn't matter that your brains all cluttered
it doesn't matter that you're covered in scars
you're never in the gutter with your eyes on the stars
climbed a mountain and i turned around
and i saw my reflection in a snow covered hill
well the landslide brought me down
is drawing crazy patterns on your sheets
So leave yourself intact
Cause I won't be coming back
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I loved you.
I must've lost 7 lbs in the past week and a half. Now I just ate 3 slices of pizza and a can of iced tea.
Good fuckin' job.
Nice.
Smoked a cigarette that tasted like froot loops though.
FUKKKK
If I don't eat anything tomorrow and go back to normal on Saturday I should be okay.
SHOULD
Minus the laxatives I'm about to take and the 500 calories I'm going to attempt to burn off.
- Mood:
pissed off
shite shite
raha nante yume mitai
raha nante yume mitai
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Ehhh the schedule at school is fucked up till Friday because of standardized testing, so I still can't seem to figure out which classes I'm supposed to go to on days... bleh when is it just back to all seven? Mehr. No work today, which is awesome, but I probably won't even get paid till after April 15th >_> <_< >_< But atleast I'm on the schedule now and I can clock in and shit. I hate work on Fridays. I hate how it's so damn busy and I get so nervous and I'm going to fuck everything up and it's hard for me to tell which lines are on hold and which ones I've just put on hold and I keep messing up orders etc... Chad keeps telling me not to worry but it's fucking hard not to when I owe each of my parents $400 dollars and I'm still a wreck and can't drive to school anymore because I'm like fucking traumatized... and my sister is a bitch in the morning. ^_~ I'm hungry. No foods though. No no no no. I love how Sylvia blurted out in front of everybody in the 400 wing today that I cut. Great. Effin great. I <3 her to pieces though. I dooo. I wish DADVD would fucking send me the right anime. I mean... Jesus I ordered Inuyasha and they sent me Naruto... why? Who knows. I <3 Naruto more than Inuyasha, though >_> But I still want what I ordered or else my other... 10 import sents of Inuyasha will be incomplete. God I wish I would stop falling apart and worrying about everything. Atleast things are getting a tad better at work and my grades are going up... sort of.
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:lisa loeb - she's falling apart
I will make straight fuckin A's.
I will weight 74 lbs.
I will make me pretty.
I will be the best at my job.
I will resist the FOOD at my job.
I will start ballet again this September.
I will pay off all the debt to my parents.
I will own all of the anime I want.
I won't be scared of video games.
And along the way there has got to be somebody... I mean fuckingSOMEBODY who will give a shit about me. Somebody.
- Mood:
depressed - Music:chaba - parade
